We Start Here…


Fourteen years ago my mother died from breast cancer.

Three years ago my brother was murdered.

One year ago I began to write letters to his murderer.

I don’t deal with my emotions.

These are the premises behind this blog. My family and I are walking in territory that few have walked. Hopefully, our club will stay small, but it is ignorant to assume there will not be new members joining our ranks. My hope is that our story can be of some help, comfort, or inspiration for another who is dealing with loss. I could easily wait a few years and endeavor to write something poignant and reflective. But, as I need help actually sorting out what I feel now, and as new things unfold constantly, it is more meaningful and helpful (to me) to begin this process now. I could keep a journal, but as an extrovert, why not capitalize on sharing my innermost thoughts with the world?

I began today because I just finished watching Dear Zachary on Netflix. It is a heartbreaking story that is worth a watch only when you have plenty of tissues (I did) and someone to hug (I did not).

I ended that film with an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the confession from my brother’s murderer. He never tried to disown his actions.

I am also again in awe of the strength of my parents, especially my dad. These are things I will expand on down the line.

Until then, don’t take memories for granted. Having you family over for dinner, being in their weddings, or even texting them is a gift you may not have tomorrow.

And as I type this, I am Facebooking a former student of mine whose mom just passed away minutes ago. Please pray for him and his family.




  1. Wow. Jeremy, this is very brave. I applaud you. One of the things that kept me going when I was undergoing chemotherapy for my second cancer diagnosis was to keep a daily blog. If you are interested in reading it, I will share it with you.

  2. I would never guess there would be so much loss and serious pain behind that beautiful smile and uplifting, positively infectious personality. I am sending prayers and lots of hugs to you as you begin this part of your healing journey. God’s Blessings my Friend.

  3. Jeremy, this is beautifully written, and I’m so sorry for all you’ve endured. I’m especially sorry you lost your mom when you were so young. I lost my mom twelve years ago, and that pain can still be a gaping hole in my heart, but I was an adult. I’m always available to talk if you’d like, but in the meantime, I shall be reading your words. Peace. XOXO

  4. Many people dont understand the anger and frustration possessed with grief after murder. They dont understand how it can easily happen to them. Being grateful is a powerful statement once you have lost someone. Stay strong. If only we could find the murderer who took Damian away from me and my children it would give a little peace. Its hard regardless continue to vent, it has helped me as well.

  5. Jeremy, I am so proud of you! You are beginning a difficult, but healing journey. Not only for you, and family members, but even total strangers will be blessed!! Keep strong and full of His Love!!! Amen.

  6. Dear Jeremy
    I am so thankful you are brave enough to face your deep pain and I know it will bring healing and peace. Only our God totally understands and has the compassion, wisdom and power to heal. Since I lost my dear Bill, I have found this to be true. If ever it would help to share some of your struggles, I am always here. I love you
    Grandma J.

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